Keep Out of Reach of Eds
by UnluckyAmulet
Summary: Eddy gets a hand-me-down from his brother, and Bro makes a quick buck. Drabble.


Disclaimer: Don't own EEnE, this is purely for my own entertainment.

So, been a while since I've written for this fandom, but this drabble has been sitting around in my documents forever, so I decided it was finally time I put myself back out there. This takes place shortly before Bro leaves Peach Creek, so he's about seventeen-ish (nearly eighteen) and Eddy is around nine.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Psst. Hey, Pipsqueak."

Eddy, who had previously been watching TV, immediately snapped to attention at the sound of his brother's voice. Craning his head around, he peeked over his shoulder to see his brother standing in the doorway, a somewhat sly, furtive air about him.

"Uh, yeah, Bro?" Eddy asked, his fingers quickly jabbing the 'mute' button on the remote.

"C'mere a sec," his brother said, wearing a smirk on his face that Eddy recognised meant nothing good, "I wanna show you something."

As if Eddy could refuse.

"Uh...okay," he said, scrambling off the couch and following his brother, though he was mindful to keep back, just in case Bro decided Eddy was taking a little too long for his liking.

His brother headed upstairs, Eddy tailing him like a shadow and Eddy tensed when he realised where they were going - Bro's room.

Bro was rather picky when it came to his space. Though he regularly waltzed into Eddy's room whenever he felt like it (mainly to steal something or torment his kid brother, or a combination of the two), it had been made exceedingly clear to Eddy he wasn't to go near that room. Even their mother wasn't allowed inside to clean it. (That said, she didn't seem too bothered by that - one less room in the house for her to worry about.)

Still, Eddy found himself hesitating as Bro jammed a key in the lock, his palms starting to sweat. Even though this time he technically had been granted permission to be here, painful lessons niggled in the back of Eddy's skull, reminding him of past indiscretions. It wasn't dissimilar to one of Pavlov's dogs, really - that door meant danger.

Eddy was so distracted by his nerves he only registered the door opening when it was too late' Bro's voice was tinged with impatience as he said;

"Well? I ain't got all day. Get in there."

The command was accompanied by a slap around the head - Eddy had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from yelping out loud. The metal of his brother's ring had clipped his ear, flooding it with hot, stinging pain. His feet were moving before his head had fully processed the blow and he crossed the threshold, rubbing his ear.

Bro shoved the key back into his pocket, and much to Eddy's immense relief, he left the door ajar. It was nerve-wracking enough for the boy to be in here without the added claustrophobia of a closed door. Bro crossed the room silently - it was amazing how quietly he could move when he wanted to, considering his size. Eddy watched him from his position on the carpet, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Though his ear still hurt, he couldn't deny the embers of curiosity that had stirred to life since his brother came to get him. It couldn't be just any old scam lesson this time; this had to be something new. Bro was muttering to himself,

"Now, where the hell...nah, that's not- gotcha!"

Eddy glanced up with interest as his brother pulled something out of a box, stuffing whatever it was under his arm. Looking satisfied now he'd found what he wanted, he strode over to his pull-out bed, dropping what looked like a stack of magazines beside him.

"A'ight, Pipsqueak, c'mere and get a load of this."

Puzzled about what Bro could possibly find so interesting in a magazine it necessitated summoning Eddy upstairs, the boy approached, perching beside Bro when his sibling gave an approving nod.

"Ready?" Bro asked Eddy, in a tone that was expectant and a little smug, like he was about to unveil a scam. "Look."

He flipped open the magazine and then tilted it so that Eddy could see.

And what a sight to behold.

Initially, Eddy wasn't quite sure what he was looking at. Then his brain seemed to kick into gear and his mouth fell open at the sight of a woman posing with only a skimpy pair of black panties on. No shirt, pants or bra. This was the first time he'd ever seen naked breasts and some part of him was dimly aware he wasn't supposed to be looking at this at all, that there was a reason these particular magazines were well-hidden. It didn't surprise him at all that Bro seemed to have a collection of them already.

"Well, Pipsqueak?" Bro prompted, looking thoroughly amused as Eddy gawked, dumbstruck at the page. "Like whatcha see?"

"Guh..." Eddy muttered, unable to make any more coherent sounds.

There was a peculiar, crawly feeling in his stomach that reminded him of how he felt whenever he was around Nazz...but these women were, well, women. Did they all look like this in the flesh? It was almost too much for Eddy to contemplate. (Though with all the blood rushing to his face, it may have been a contributing factor.) This explained a lot about why Bro spent so much time alone in his room - it looked like he had quite a collection already.

Bro leant back with a smirk - he'd already perused this particular copy thoroughly, but he figured it'd be funny to see Pipsqueak's reaction to his first girly mag live. Judging by Eddy's transfixed, slightly dazed expression and the fact he'd yet to blink for about a minute and a half, he liked what he saw.

"Where'd you get these, Bro?" Eddy asked, already craving more images to burn into his mind, his instinct to hoard already rearing its head somewhere in him, reacting to this new exciting thing purely on instinct.

Eddy had always been a creature of indulgence.

"You're such a nosy little twerp," Bro snorted, giving Eddy a lazy shove, though not hard enough to knock him off the bed. He was feeling magnanimous today, it seemed.

Eddy eyed the stack curiously, wondering just what the women inside those looked like, but Bro saw this and shook his head, tugging the dog-eared pile further away.

"Uh-uh, don't even think about it," Bro said condescendingly, and Eddy couldn't hide his disappointment. "Too advanced for you."

Hey, he might have been fine with showing his nine-year-old brother some tits and ass, but he was aware that showing him any of the more hardcore stuff might just send the kid over the edge and blow his tiny little mind entirely.

Eddy huffed slightly, but he wisely didn't push it. You didn't push things with Bro. But a whole new realm of possibilities had been opened up to him. He couldn't wait to tell Ed and Double D about this - he bet Kevin didn't have any cool magazines like these.

"So...can you just, like, buy these anywhere?" Eddy asked, in a fairly transparent attempt to sound casual.

"What, you think you're gonna just walk into fuckin' Walmart and grab a couple?" Bro laughed at him. "Nobody's sellin' these to a goddamn nine-year-old, moron."

Eddy didn't try to hide his dismay, not that he could have done even if he wanted to - his brother was good at telling exactly what he was thinking. It was a little creepy sometimes, actually.

"Hey, Pipsqueak," Bro said casually, "You got some cash from Gramps for your birthday, right?"

"Yeah?" Eddy said, brow creasing in confusion.

"How 'bout this? I'm feelin' generous right now, so if you give me that birthday money and I'll give you _this_."

Bro waved the magazine at Eddy, watching the way his eyes followed it, like a dog with a bone. Really, he made it too damn easy.

"I'll even throw in a couple of extra, for free," he added - he'd thumbed through the tame ones so often that he could probably recall them with his eyes closed. Might as well make sure they didn't go to waste - and make a buck or two while he was at it.

Eddy didn't need telling twice.

"Yeah, sure thing, Bro!" he said, excitedly, almost rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Sure, he was supposed to be saving up that money, but he had always been a fan of instant gratification and he wanted that magazine. "I'll go get it now."

"Atta boy," Bro nodded in approval, taking out a cigarette and cracking the window. As Eddy scrambled off the bed, he added, "Oh, and Pipsqueak?"

Eddy paused in the doorway.

"What?"

Bro pointed his free hand at him, smoke spilling out from his lips.

"Not a word to Mom and Dad, understand? S'our little secret."

"Uh, yeah, got it!" Eddy nodded quickly, then he disappeared and ran off down the hall - Bro could hear his footsteps thudding down the stairs.

Snorting, Bro reclined on his bed, blowing smoke up at the ceiling. He wondered idly if the kid would miss him when he was gone, but that couldn't be helped. After all, there was a sucker born every minute out there and you had to take 'em for what they got.

But it didn't hurt to start at home. 

* * *

Who sells old porn mags to their nine-year-old brother?

Answer: Bro. Bro does. What an asshole. XD

Thanks for reading!


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